DEFENDER'S RAP

• I look to the future, sometimes too far
• My book is filled with sutures and emotional scars
• The pain is so profuse I want to do myself harm
• I'm so drained I find excuses not to set the alarm
• I have always felt excluded like I'll never belong
• All the confidence exuded it was just a facade
• Ever since I had the refuted the existence of god
• My exuberance has left me in the distance to rot
• As a youth they never school the finer points of depression
• They just treat the shit as usual give you tools to suppress it
• And just for good measure they might fill you up with pills
• As a means to lessen pressure from tension that you feel
• This professional conjecture that they call an even keel
• Leaves you desperate for pleasures that you don't believe are real
• Seems it's been so fucking long that I've felt anything but sadness
• Like my serotonin fell off in the midst of all the madness
• Tell my family I'm well off even though I feel like Atlas
• Know this world upon my shoulders turns to blackness in my absence
• So I make the wrong reaction and I pack in all my passions
• While I long for something stronger than this somber satisfaction
• It has gotten to the point where my regrets feel more like debts
• And every time I try to write them I seem to bounce the check
• Which amounted to some moments where I wished we'd never met
• On account of what you meant and everything you represent
• Still I never felt resent and I wish you all the best
• But ever since you left me with this hole inside my chest
• Think I'm losing all control while I'm sinking to a depth
• Where the pressures so immense that it's hard to catch my breath
• Almost like the present tense is a place that don't exist
• While I'm laying here to waste with these shackles on my wrists
• Any trace of fear embraced as I tackle every risk
• Give my little girl a kiss, shelter her from the abyss
• Of this helter skelter world that they try to box us in
• Where the media will spin any action into sin
• But it's only a distraction to detract us from the men
• Who just back us into factions based off color of the skin
• Even make you pick and choose if there's more than two genders
• They confuse you with the ruse that they use to fuel agendas
• In your head they've embedded you to only see one side
• Tied to a racist pride that they pray will never die
• Progressive thinking on the rise, but it might too late
• Cause they'd rather kill us all than stop filling up their plate
• Sad we all know where it's heading yet we do nothing to stop it
• The environment is rotting while we stand around and watch it
• Til we turn a blind eye like we got not other options
• Just another trending topic glossed over and forgotten
• Guess your too focused on shopping or filling up your feed
• Or rolling up some weed while you scrolling through some memes
• So controlled by all the screens that y'all looking like some fiends
• And the fact is that us sacks of shit are never getting clean