CHALLENGER'S RAP

• The guy upstairs is such a freak.
• For five years now I've had a leak.
• What does he do up there?
• All day long he "sleeps all day,"
• Then he goes out and comes home
• In the most intoxicated way.
• As far as I can tell, he juggles bowling balls
• But he's not good at it.
• He moves his furniture then at six am
• He pulls out the vacuum cleaner
• To suck his room.
• The guy downstairs is also crazy.
• He spent some time in an institute.
• It did him not much good
• He's off his medication,
• And he starts screaming,
• "Virgin Mary, you fucking alien!"
• According to him Jesus Christ smokes crack,
• And other sundry things.
• But it's the man upstairs who pulls the strings,
• Won't let me sleep.
•  
• Please, kill that man upstairs.
• If you ever loved me, you'll do this one thing,
• Won't you sweetheart?
• Please murder that man upstairs.
• If you want to be my friend,
• You'll have to prove you mean it.
•  
• I used to think that rent control was a good idea,
• Until I moved here.
• Now I'm the only sucker,
• Paying more than a hundred bucks a room.
• And I'm surrounded by lunatics who don't,
• Even need a moon.
• But it's the man upstairs who pulls the strings,
• Won't let me sleep.
•  
• Please, kill that man upstairs.
• If you ever loved me, you'll do this one thing,
• Won't you sweetheart?
• Please murder that fuck upstairs.
• If you want to be my friend
• You'll have to prove you mean it.
•  
• Then there's the lady across the hall,
• Who always knows what's going on.
• And Machu Pichu down the stairs,
• Who is selling crack from door to door.
• 14B are refugees and 14A transvestite whores.
• But you know who is coming home,
• He's falling up his drunken stairs.
•  
• Please, kill that man upstairs.
• If you ever loved me, you'll do this one thing,
• Won't you sweetheart?
• Please murder that fuck upstairs.
• If you want to be my friend,
• You'll help me get a good night sleep.