Battles Hyde vs Funkatron
RULES
BYOB tournament final. 90 seconds acapella. You know what it is.
Max of 64 lines
THIS BATTLE IS OVER
Hyde won this battle!
START YOUR OWN BATTLE
Thousands of battles have taken place on RapPad. Why not join the fun?
CHALLENGER'S RAP
- This broken Funkatron is throwin’ punches that won’t function,
- I mean, I guess it’s open judgement, but I’m noticing malfunction.
- Just another outdated model that’s been chosen for destruction,
- Now watch this jack get scrapped like Apple phone construction.
- See the judges’ bias, callin’ Funk “your highness”? But, he’s still fourth in line, it’s
- Me and NAC the kings, this fag’s a queen, and that’s unbiased.
- What? You don’t believe me? Just count the dicks in his bars.
- The judges try to penalize, but he just sees another P to slide,
- Repeating lines ‘bout feeling nines while still dreaming like he spits hard.
- But maybe that explains something that’s seemed a little shady,
- Did you notice Mer and Droid have been voting the same way lately?
- It almost doesn’t matter who’s stacked on the other side of the slate, they see
- Funkatron’s name and can’t wait to vote his way; crazy.
- I guess where Pavlov had dogs, Funk has judges,
- Whenever the bell sounds, they both come running.
- Almost like they’re conditioned, both sniffin’ around for something,
- Even when RapPad sees it clearly, their vision’s bleary, so they keep Funk coming.
- But I guess some of us needed a leg up to keep the defeating plan,
- Worried that another’s punches might sneak through unbeaten and land,
- So they wrapped you up like a mummy in safekeeping rags,
- I mean, fuck, I’d punch your unconscious mom if I wanted to hit a sleeping bag*.
- After Shmurda, Droid, and Mike, you shoulda just run along,
- But you're still standing here askin’ for handouts waiting to be dunked upon**,
- So I’ll leave you bleedin’, even more punch drunk and gone,
- Count this as another target hit for the Flunk-a-thon.
- //*Funk’s mom is an old bag.
- //**Dunk tank, as sometimes happens during phone-a-thons.
DEFENDER'S RAP
- Yo, what do you get when this uglier Fred Durst hits stomach and face first?
- A joke that keeps rollin rollin rollin, Cuz you were Chozen to get broken!
- When we first met, your name was evadin’ya/Ovadia, now you just Hyde/hide cuz, who you evading bra?
- Except the truth in that closet, come on and fire from the heart!
- Oh wait, your punches aren’t heavy, you’re fat! Tell’em apart!
- You think you’re Ruth on the mound, like your pitchin into the halls,**
- But Hamilton catches behind a plate, after he’s killed by Smalls!
- I’d hardly call this a Punch Out, I can take you down jabbin,***
- King Hippo vs Lil Mac, you know what the fucks gonna happen!
- It wasn’t perfect, but that punch hard to miss,
- Even you say you’re number 2 when this shit is finished!
- You better bring the full ninety, or Nicholas Cage yourself,
- Cuz we don’t want no minute man, try thinking about your health!
- Your voice is figurative artillery, launched for carnage,
- But this is literally delivery vs bars incarnate,
- Your delivery sells your bars, my bars keep on delivering,
- Deliverance, too black and white who the master and who the victim is!
- Delivery prompt, poised, purposeful, it’s attractive,
- Perfect offense of words, but actions perforated your package,
- Hyde is perfectly gift wrapped, but if you tear right through the plastic,***
- You’ll see every vote he’s casted, then watch it become his casket!
- **Lines that didn't annotate**
- **(as in pitches himself into the hall of fame)
- ***(In the game Punch Out, you can beat King Hippo just by jabbing, and also saying I could win not bringing any good punches)
- ****(It kinda keeps with the delivery theme and it's a triple meaning, meaning his offense is great, but that's all he has, keeping with the theme of the few lines before it, and that he is fake, also the obvious packaging meaning)