CHALLENGER'S RAP

• Mom? Dad? I'm scared.
• But do you even care?
• The clown in the closet scares me to death
• "There's no clown" they say "don't distress"
• But what about the one under my bed?
• "Soda it's all in your head"
• Huh? Wait, what was that? Mom? Are you okay?
• "Hey kid don't fret, just do as I say"
• Wait who are you? You're not my dad
• "He went for a walk, he'll be right back"
• I don't trust you, what happened to my mom?
• "Don't worry kid, we only severed her neurons."
• Wait, what do you mean? Who is we?
• "It's me and my brother silly"
• "See I sleep under the bed"
• "And he fucks mothers til they're dead"
• "His painted nose is only red from bloodshed"
• "And he likes to- oh shit, here he comes"
• My name is Xendrik and you can call me the Boogeyman
• I be slicing and dicing parents just because I can
• It's no mystery as to why I'm the best emcee of twenty sixteen
• I be dastardly and diabolically
• Weaving this lyrical masterpiece
• For everybody to see
• I'll rip your throat out with my teeth
• Oh is that Daddy's gun? Don't be a tease
• Give that trigger a nice firm squeeze
• Break my kill streak and you can collect my bounty
• But until then, I'll continue this beheading
• Quit squirming kid, I need to keep this axe steady
• I've gotta make this quick, it's almost four twenty
• I should've just gone with the fucking machete
• I do like how this kid is kicking and screaming like he's Bruce Lee
• Most men cower at the very sight of me
• But he doesn't seem to care that I put his mother through agony
• Could I actually be getting rusty?
• That can't be it, my shit's been lit
• It's gotta be something else
• Like Eminem you need to lose yourself
• Yeah, I killed your mom, but you don't need that bitch
• I'm all you need, we could be like Lilo and stitch
• We can be the best of friends, as long as you don't snitch
• What about my brother? I'll leave his body in a ditch
• I'll do anything for my kid
• My last victim pleaded just like you
• I know! I'll name you Donovan point two
• Wah! Wah! Boohoo!
• Wait, Gabriel? Is that you?
• You mean I've been talking to myself this whole fucking time?
• Well I mean I have been out of my mind since like age nine
• It's no surprise that I'm still alive
• With a flawless record, it's hard to get fried
• These battles are just getting easier and easier
• I'll put your feet in the freezer and make you dance to Justin Bieber
• I'll get you alone and crush your head with stone
• Then I'll pull out Excalibur and cut through all the nonbelievers
• You must be shocked because I'm seeing seizures all through the crowd
• I guess that everyone knows now that Xendrik is the best around