CHALLENGER'S RAP

• I've been slowing down all these years no time for tears
• but all that has come upon me has been the product of my fears
• I find I'm riding out my days regularly weary
• finding out that so much is lost this way almost yearly
• this is the stone reality though, though it go
• the sun's going to shine but the sun's going to go low
• and it gnaws at my voiceless guts for all that I've lost
• through all my choices I never considered the possible cost
• that just with bad planning, and time allotment flawed
• I now drink at bars while families pass plates across table cloths
• a rush of pain always hits, sometimes rage sometimes sadness
• I know I hold the reins come time to face the madness
• but let's not be so opaque, here's the clarity of the situation
• I prized other things than family and then in their desperation
• they fled me, sought out other sources of love and affection
• and now I'm left with the cooling embers of their rejection
• It makes you look at yourself at the self you have hidden
• somewhere along the way you take for granted the blessing given
• now you run the full spectrum of feelings around abrupt separation
• it is mix of emotions that seem to collide in a sickening sensation
• stomach tied in knots so that everything else loses fascination
• don't tell me your thuggish ways are more masculine in machination
• the days become gray, all dirty cobwebs and overflowing ashtrays
• losing yourself in the memories and then realizing they wont stay
• so you drown it all out with vices and other devices
• hoping that the momentary warmth will give a break that's priceless
• I got to change this script because the loss is irretrievable
• and find a way to flip this pain and to toss the inconceivable
• because at some point not too distant it will all come to an end for me
• my bones mouldering in my grave nothing left there but a memory