DEFENDER'S RAP

• It's pathetic, forget it, just stressed never resting.
• They say diet, sunlight and exercise is the best thing.
• Anxiety, obsessive swarms of thought are distressing,
• Xanax, Klonopin I'm popping, junk I'm ingesting.
• I'm not a manic depressive, so why the antidepressants,
• I think my shrink has a message, that medicine's my investment.
• Wishing I could just edit life, pause and reset it,
• And change my thoughts and perceptions, have no more remorse or resentment.
• It's funny, a teen mind is jaded, no proper incentive to be educated.
• Drugs used to be a phase but now I read the papers,
• Feed my demon stages while I bleed to razors.
• But I turn the page from days I hated
• myself, there's only me to blame for my dangerous behaviours.
• I'm saving grace, but grace is taking ages....
• I need some help, a saviour to reverse all my failures.
• Mama ain't so proud, my journey far from painless,
• Self medicate, meditate, these pills are dangerous.
• I'm not proud to be in this, in fact I'm fucking ashamed,
• Panic attacks, xanax by packs, again and again.
• And the cycle repeats, there's just no breaking the chain,
• I feel like crying today and tomorrow's the same.
• I feel permanently poisoned by my mind and memories,
• I'm certainly just boiling from a silent enemy.
• Compose myself before I let off violent energy.
• Expose myself as an addict..... benzodiazepines.