Untitled letter clean

listen I don't know if you're going to get this letter or not

but I'm only giving this one last shot

I've been giving it some thought and I've been pondering a lot

I guess I'll give this all that I got

 

you probably changed your address or maybe I'm just someone you forgot

I turn 16 in a month, I'm using my talent to express myself

but I'm still pretty bad when it comes to keeping a stable mental health

like it just seems like depression has got this stealth

and it's been sneaking up on me since I was twelve

sometimes, I don't understand myself

like I'll just start feeling sad for no reason

and everybody in my life is leavin'

so I'm feelin depressed during the holiday season

and I'm getting torn up and ripped apart by my inner demon

my mind is committing treason

my body it is Deceivin'

I know we don't really talk but I'm still your son

when I was young there was a person missing from my life and you were that someone

dad why did you have to run

like what was your reason for Poppin out the semen and then leavin'

but anyway how are you, there are a few questions that are due

It's just I have been trying to find ways to bring them up to you

dad do you ever wonder what could've been if you didn't leave

cause I believe that life would be different and I wouldn't feel like a dog being held by depression's leash

while I'm writing this letter I'm wiping my tears away onto my sleeve

a father and son relationship is what I want to achieve

but that cannot happen until fatherly love is something I receive

come on dad, I'm here begging on my knees

please give me some happy father memories

nowadays when kids ask me about you I just freeze

my palms I squeeze

trying not to let them see me crying my eyes out over some dude who left 15 years ago and won't speak to unless its over pen and paper

dad, I've been feeling like a failure

and I've been sending prayer after prayer

wondering why my creator and my savior arent doing me one tiny little favor

and answering my question of why I only feel alive when I'm cutting with that razor

I've got some problems and they are major

I might just kill myself later

 

 

listen I don't know if you're going to get this letter or not

but I'm only giving this one last shot

I've been giving it some thought and I've been pondering a lot

I guess I'll give this all that I got

yeah

listen I don't know if you're going to get this letter or not

but I'm only giving this one last shot

I've been giving it some thought and I've been pondering a lot

I guess I'll give this all that I got

 

last night I was smoking some pot and talking to god

putting that on the spot asking him, doesn't it feel odd

that I'm living a facade

dad, why you left is a mystery unsolved

I just wish that all these problems in my mind could be resolved

and I'm not pressuring you but when it comes to my life I just wish you were involved