How am i still alive

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How am I still alive?
Thought of death more than a million times
You ask if I’m alright
I reply with “yes, I’m fine.”
But it's always a lie
I cut myself again last night
Say to myself, “this is the last time”
But it’s always a lie
You see my scars
You ask what could leave such a mark
“I got scratched and messed with the wound too much” I reply
I reply but it’s a lie It’s always a lie
When I’m alone, I cry
Oh, I wanna die
No, I’m not alright
All these words are just lies
Cut myself again last night
Oh, I know it’s not the last time
And when morning comes I’ll pretend I’m alright
You still can’t see through my lies
no i don't do much damage
no, it doesn't hurt
line after line
and a grave in the dirt
no i don't hate my life
well maybe sometimes
depression's a curse
no that's not a lie
no i don't want attention
could you just go away?
i can feel the tension
and i'm starting to fade
I've felt only sadness all my life
I play the violin so I don't feel the strife
Its wooden veneer hides my pain
And the bow glides across the violins' vein
Such a beautiful sound it emanates
The light glistens and the string radiates
I pack my violin and try to act plain
But my feelings flood my head and make me insane
I can't contain these feelings within my mind
They're too powerful and loud to be confined
I try to get these emotions out through my violin
But the bow is a knife and the instrument, my skin

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Member since April 19 2021

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